Meet a Part Called Cactus: Spikes and All
You know the feeling.
A child walks in and something in your gut says stay back. They drop into the chair across from you — arms crossed, eyes somewhere else, jaw set. Or they’re at the dinner table, snapping at everything and everyone. In the classroom, every question met with a shrug or an eye roll.
Your body knows before your brain catches up. This kid has spikes out.
And the spikes work. That’s the thing. The cactus part is a brilliant protector. It keeps people at a distance, which is exactly the point. If no one gets close, no one can hurt you.
After fifteen years working with incarcerated youth, I learned something that changed how I show up in those moments. When I feel that gut reaction: stay away. I take a big sigh. Something in me says, okay, you’re feeling their protective part and it’s working. Sometimes there’s even a small laugh at myself, knowing this might go nowhere. Or we might connect. But I know I need to go into the interaction with Self energy. Being curious and present. Looking past the spikes at the whole person. That’s always going to be better than staying away.
That’s what this book is about.
Five children discover a hallway with doors unlike any they’ve seen before. Behind each one lives a part. Not just an emotion, but a protector with a purpose. A cactus. A fire. A disco ball. Some get prickly. Others hide. Some perform. Each one trying its best to keep someone safe. All they needed was someone willing to listen, because every part has a job, and every part belongs.
The Cactus Doorknob
The cactus doorknob prickled, Green and round with tiny spikes. Manuel reached out, then pulled back fast. “Ow! It poked me!”
Inside stood a cactus with sharp eyes and a rough voice. “I’ve got my spikes and seem mean and prickly, So people stay away and can’t hurt me.”
Luna whispered, “Oh, I get that. Do you ever feel lonely?” Cactus blinked. “Yes, sometimes.”
Amira said, “You can sit with us, spikes and all.”
Inside, Cactus felt a little softer, a little less prickly. “I feel a little less alone,” Cactus whispered. “I think I can lower my spikes just a little.”
Luna’s question is the one that changes everything. Not why are you like this. But do you ever feel lonely?
Behind every cactus part is someone who would love to lower their spikes. They just need to know it’s safe. Maybe you’ve felt that gut reaction and stayed away longer than you’d like to admit. Maybe their “attitude” got under your skin. My daughter is twenty-one now. When she was a teenager, there were plenty of cactus moments I could have handled better. We’ve all been there. This book is for the kids in your life who need someone to ask the question Luna asked.
The Hallway of Doorknobs: A Journey to the Feelings Inside launches May 4th.
Pre-order your copy: The Hallway of Doorknobs – Lynn A. Haller
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In a past job, I often worked with people who had cactus spikes. So I learned to take a beat, breathe, and not take it personally. I learned to shift into a gentle curiosity to try to understand what was happening for the person that made them feel threatened. I sought to be a person with whom they could lower their spikes. And over time, that is what happened. They were able to feel safe enough to connect with me.
Reading that brought tears to my eyes. There are so many hurting people out there with cactus parts, just needing a safe place to land. I hope this book helps people on both sides of the door.